These Are The Scary Health Risks That Are Associated With Having Sex

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What would you rather; really, really amazing sex but just the once, or the gift of sight? It seems obvious, really, but this is just how I’ve chosen to open this article because it’s early and I’m feeling particularly unsexy. Fine. I’ll give being provocative a whirl.

Gee whizz, boooooyyyy I really like sexing. Innit good when the penis goes right up in the… hold on. Let me check…

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Yeah that. Big fan of when that happens, me.

I feel like I’ve tailed off and we’re worryingly early in this article. I’ll get to the point, shall I?

Yes.

Sex is a good thing and with all of the negativity and conflict going down in humanity right now (as if that was never an issue), it’s one of the few things that almost all of us can agree is worth fighting for… or not fighting for… don’t fight for sex. That’s like the point of it.

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BUT! Sex isn’t all sunshine and fairies, no, it’s a treacherous minefield full of snakepits and backache.

For instance, did you know that sex can blind you? How? Well…

‘Postcoital visual loss due to valsalva retinopathy’ occurs when a blood vessel bursts in the eye due to there being too much pressure on the ol’ retinas – very much the MVP of sex.

In a case study in 2014, scientists at the universities of Edinburgh and Southampton (you’d be hard pressed to find two unis in the UK further away from each other, and yet…) examined a 21-year-old man who reported that he held his breath and pushed out his diaphragm during orgasm,. This is what resulted in the burst vessel.

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A 29-year-old male patient presented to eye emergency clinic after noticing a left paracentral scotoma on waking. On direct questioning the patient revealed an episode of vigorous sexual intercourse the preceding evening. During orgasm the valsalva manoeuvre can produce a sudden increase in retinal venous pressure resulting in vessel rupture and haemorrhagic retinopathy.

The blindness is only temporary but obviously still not ideal. What I can’t work out is why he “held his breath and pushed out his diaphragm”. Was he trying to look swole as he came?

Penis Fracture!

Though a healthy human penis contains no bones, it’s still possible to fracture one if you try hard enough. If that’s not motivational then I don’t know what is. If a man can fracture his boneless penis then that just goes to show that anything is possible, you can get that job if you put your mind to it, kids.

Penial fracture happens when an erect penis is bent suddenly, tearing the tunica albuginea membrane, causing blood to leak out to the surrounding tissue. The lucky few men who have experienced this reported that they initially heard a loud crack, followed by severe pain and equally severe bruising.

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This would usually happen during vigorous sex or masturbating and if it happens to you, seek immediate medical attention; you’re going to need surgery on that bad bay, fella!

Vaginal Tears!

This one’s more common, as women who are sexually active are likely to experience this at least once in their lives.

Happily though, these aren’t serious, and usually happen when you’re just a little bit too dry. This can be down to insufficient arousal, stress, fatigue, etc, etc. You don’t need me to tell you when you’re not turned on.

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The best way to avoid this is to use lube, be turned on (usually the bare minimum), or do cowgirl. Honestly.

If there’s a lot of bleeding that won’t stop, head on down to the doctors immediately.

Sex headaches…

Okay I thought this one was going to be funny but it turns out that while sex headaches are usually the symptom of nothing, they can be a result of low blood pressure, brain tumours, or bleeding into the brain. That’s not fun.

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These can occur in men and women and happen during or just after orgasm, usually as a sudden throbbing pain, or a dull ache that slowly builds as sex intensifies.

See a doctor.

Heart attacks.

Kind of speaks for itself, this one. You’ve seen the cartoons, it’s actually a lot like that.

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These are characterised by chest pains, shortness or breath, irregular or racing heartbeat, and even things like fatigue, nausea, back or stomach pain.

STDs

Use a condom. You know about those.

Follow me on Twitter (@AlfiePowell) and be safe out there.

Images via iStock, Dictionary.com

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